i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
