the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
