at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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