Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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