Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
dude. I can hear the air.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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