I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
