I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
