the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
