You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
