Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Randomize
