his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
what day is it and did you see me today?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
