So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
