This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
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A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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