I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
