Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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