I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
