smell my finger.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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