It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
