I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
