i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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