they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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