if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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