I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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