A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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