I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
