you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
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I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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