She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
