I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
