Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
