We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
