Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
