That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
