Non-Jews are for practice
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
