Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Are we still banned from the library?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
