there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
