Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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