so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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