Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
