Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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