I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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