Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
