More tranny stories later!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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