Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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