Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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