Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
