and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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