Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
