I just pynch a tree in the face
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
