I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
