Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
