wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
