I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
