is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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