Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
