Small penises have feelings too.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize