party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
