its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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