please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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