proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
