The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
