I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
