you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
