dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I could fuck to npr.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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