just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it glows. i had to have it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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