My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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