are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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